In 2020, I was killing it…or was I?
In 2020, I had the privilege of spending almost the entire year upleveling.
I upleveled not only myself, but my business, the relationship that I had with myself, and others. On the outside, it appeared as if I was really killing it. I was enrolled in a high level business program, I started my podcast, I closed my acupuncture practice to do exactly what I had always dreamed of.
In my mind, I was showing up in ways that I never had before. And as I started to get more recognition and attention for being more outspoken and public, I thought that I was on to something big.
But another remarkable thing also happened in 2020. My mentor, who was running the business program I was in, called me out for hiding.
He didn’t go into much detail other than he invited me to start showing up more.
For much of 2020, I contemplated his words, often confused by them.
I had a podcast, I wrote regularly on social media, I had no qualms about doing live video….
To the outsider, ‘hider’ most likely would not be a word that one would call me.
But as the year unraveled and even into 2021, I really started to understand what he meant by hiding. And furthermore, how my hiding hindered my life tremendously.
I hid my desires and my truest authentic self from my partner.
I hid purchases and financial information from my partner.
I hid my truest voice, the voice of who I truly am, from the world. Despite all the inner work, I was still trying to fit inside a box that wasn’t me. I avoided tough conversations, speaking my truth, speaking up, and all forms of authentic voice using.
Warriors...I hid my vulnerabilities, my fears, my truest nature from the world.
Today, I am still unfolding. I’m still coming out from hiding. But the more I share, the more I heal and am able to come out more.
I told my closest friends that I have nothing but empathy for those who come out of the closet. You have my utmost admiration and respect.
I tell you this because I know someone out there is reading this and is also hiding, and chances are, you are suffering because of it.
If you are a hider, know that I stand with you, and I see you.
Stay tuned, Warriors. My business is changing and I don’t know exactly where it is going, but in the meantime, if you are a hider, I want to help you in any way I can.
Let’s chat; there is absolutely no obligation to chatting with me.
I understand how deep this conditioning is, and I want you to know that there is another side to hiding.
